That's It! I'm Never Going To Sleep AGAIN!
by Moriarwen
Summary: Story of girl who loves cheese, 'dislikes' Elves and wants a stick with a pointy nail in. Rating for language. Am back after a year, reread the story and saw bits that needed changing. Am reposting the chapters improved. Reposted Chp13 so far. Please R&R.
1. Cheesy

Disclaimer: I do not claim to invented any of the recognisable characters, the OC, Katie is a character of my own invention however, or I would feel pretty rubbish. And Hobgoblin is a term used by Tolkien too, so I didn't invent them either, bless 'em.

**Hello everyone, Its been over a year and so the story had technically died, along with my computer, access to the internet, you name it, it died. And I forgot about the story, yes I actually forgot about it. I even forgot about ff. net too. Then I remembered. I got a PC, I started University, I got a Laptop.**

**I remembered this and rememberd how much fun I had writing it and reading the reviews. So here I am, back again. I am reposting the chapters, because when I read them again I noticed some things that made me cringe slightly. So I changed a few things, but its practically the same. I would have reposted the story but I didn't want to lose the reviews I had gathered. So anyway...Hope you enjoy the revised but not abridged version. :)**

Chapter One - Orc Pixies

I am dreaming of being back on the beach, walking along the sand I've done loads of times since I was a child. The sun setting onto the sea, reflecting the rays of light across the water, this is a nice dream.

Oddly, the light is reflecting onto the sand, that is weird; I've never seen that happen before. Ah well, this is a dream after all. Might as well go have a look.  
Maybe this is a sort of new dream - phenomenon, hmm should I really go have a look? What's the worst that could happen?

Hopefully I will get to fly again! Thought that was one of those out-of-body- experiences people say they have had in magazines when they are asleep, like when you can float around and go in peoples windows and stuff, that would be cool.  
Decided my own particular 'out of body experience' had just resulted from eating too much cheese before I went to bed, shame really.

Anyway, I've decided to move in for a closer look. Funny, the nearer I get to it, the more the light gets brighter, what the? I can't see! This hurts, the light I mean. Why did I have to come over and look? Stupid, stupid Katie!

This bloody light hurts my eyes.  
That's it; I'm going to have to close them, unless I want perminant retina damage. Hey maybe this is where I wake up again? Some interesting - dream twist, like when you open them again it's when you wake up? Well, lets see...

Nope, guess I was wrong.

Where am I now! And what kind of freaky dream is this?

I didn't have any cheese tonight did I?

Right, come on Katie, let's get up. You are lying on the mossy floor of some gross forestry type thing that stinks strongly of squirrel pee.

Nice.

I am now covered in mud? That's because it's raining and you've been rolling around in the mud like an idiot! I told myself. Right, about time I used that grey matter between my ears, I'm dreaming and I want to wake up; lets try the more traditional approach,  
I pinched my hand sharply "Ouch!" hmm, not working.

A light slap on the cheek?  
Damn it! Hard slap on the cheek?  
No and "Ouch! _Why_ did I do that?

Serious problem, I am now soaked to the skin, as I am wearing jeans this is not particularly comfortable.  
As well as that, I am starving and shivery. Shivery? Is that even a word? Well I guess am shivering then.

I don't think this is how dreams are supposed to feel like.

I can see little red dots coming towards me, are they dots? No - wait, they are little torches! Aww, aren't they cute? Hmm wonder what's carrying them?

Some cute little pixie brigade?

Maybe this dream isn't going to be as bad after all  
. Let me see, I need a nice, secluded spot where I can hide and watch them go past without them casting some cute pixie spell inadvertently turning me into a toad, as pixies tend to do sometimes.

This tree looks nice, reckon I could climb it? Just reach for that branch and I'm away, hey this is fun! I haven't done this since I was 10, maybe I am a natural!

Luckily, the little pixie-brigade decided to come right under my tree.

Eww, that's the ugliest pixie I ever saw, he even smells ugly, I thought as they started to file under the tree.  
They looked like hobgoblins, the baddies from old fashioned fairy tales.

One of the hobgoblins stopped and sniffed around. He really was an unpleasant little bugger. Imagine my surprise when he looked into my tree. Suddenly, I remembered that I had a habit of thinking out loud.

Then, the word "Oops" came to mind too, I defiantly remember blurting that little diamond out.  
The one I had referred to as a little bugger signalled to his dirty little friends.

One got out a sort of bendy stick.

I regarded this with no threat. What's he gonna do?  
Throw it at me? It looked like some sort of crappy cheap boomerang more than anything else. Imagine my surprise when he fired an arrow with it,  
"Aawwwhh" I howled. The little blighter had shot me in the shoulder.

This is not a very nice dream at all. My little pixie -come- hobgoblin friends having got bored with my self piting howling just carried on, leaving me all alone in this stupid tree. What on earth am I going to do now?

Lets see, I'm alone in some stuffy forest, I have an arrow embedded in my shoulder and I am soaking through. Maybe I should get out of this glorified bush and find somewhere less wet. That, at least sounded like a better idea.  
I looked down at my shoulder properly for the first time. I nearly passed out. It was all bloody, and an arrow sticking out of anyone's shoulder would make them feel rather ill

. Yuck,

I tried to give it a tug but it just sent searing pain through my upper body. Best not try that again for a while, or until I have found some good quality booze at least. Not much chance of that here, all the more reason for me to move then, I debated to myself (I tend to do that when I am hungry).

I attempted to climb out of the tree but just felt myself slipping, this was partly because the branches were wet, and partly because of my shoulder.  
I landed with a thud and all went temporarily black (but for how long?).

What's this? Am I back in bed? Woohoo! The nightmare is over. I knew that I was waking up, I felt to my shoulder in a just-to-make-sure-kind-of-way to discover (my stomach sinking to the floor) the arrow was still there, and to add insult to injury, the blasted thing had gotten embedded even deeper.

For the first time, I wanted to cry. It is seeming less and less like a dream now, you can't feel pain in a dream, and I would not be exaggerating to say that I am in more than just a little discomfort.

Plan of action! There has got to be some kind of friendly settlement around here and I will be damned (and proberley dead) if I don't find it!

**Ok first chapter done. Thankyou very much for reading. I would greatly appreciate it if you reviewed the story. I appreciate constructive reviews but please don't flame. I never delete flames, but I would much prefer advice on how to improve the fic. **

**Thanks Again**

**Mori**

**x**


	2. Life: In a Tree

Revised version. Enjoy.

Chapter Two

So, erm, my plan to find a nice – non bow wielding, non pixie settlement of people has fell kind of flat.

So I am back again, in my tree; thinking of alternatives.

Life in a tree wouldn't be that bad would it? Living off what I can find? Being a self –sufficient free range human could be fun! Especially when you think about it over and over again until words loose _all_ meaning...

I am so gonna die.

I'm just going to sit in my tree and stare like some deranged pigeon, until I can think of some solution.

Looks like I am going to be a pigeon for a long time.

I was staring blankly into space, thinking about life when I heard a voice.

"Come down from that tree!" Some random voice shouted.

I was going to shout "Hey buster, get your own bloody tree!" When logic overtook my reasoning and told me it would be best to shut up.

If I ignore the problem, he might go away.

"Come down from that tree _immediatly!_" he shouted again.

So that plan goes out the window, hmm, what to do now? Best put him in his place.

"No" I said flatly.

There was a lot of whispering after that, it seems there are several random voices. Deciding to find out how many there were, I looked down between the branches. There were about 5 of them, all these tall, sophisticated blond people, with shiny hair and floaty capes. Looks like some sort of perverted Gap advert.

Then, one of them looked straight at me. There I was thinking I was all camouflaged, well that's burst my bubble for sure.

"If you do not come down now, we will shoot you as a spy!" Another said.

What were they on about? Me? A spy! That's so ridiculous that it's funny!

Ha ha ha.

Funny at it may seem, I didn't intend on getting shot again, so I decided to comply.

"_Fine!_ Have it your way!" I shouted at them.

Climbing out of a tree is not a particularly easy thing to do.

I jumped the last few feet and landed with a splatter in the mud. I gave them the old 'narrowing of the eyes' treatment, so that they knew just how I felt about being ordered about.

I must have looked a mess, a bloody shoulder, sodden and shivering. They started to whisper again, until one of them stepped forward. "You will come with us." He said.

One of those decision times again, should I or shouldn't I? Well what have I got to lose? I doubt they would let me go back into my tree, or even anywhere for that matter.

"Where are you going?" I asked them.

They just ignored me and started walking. I followed on at the back. Hmm, maybe I will get food?

**Please R&R**

**Thanks!**

**Mori**

**x**


	3. Shiney People Walk Fast

Chapter 3

_Ouch!_ That's the third time I've stubbed my toe, using the traditional unspeakable four letter word that usually accompanies incidents like that rather loudly, I was on the receiving end of a few rather impressive _stop doing that, you are pissing me off_ glances from the marchers. OK, I know that I must be a burden, but their attitude is seriously starting to annoy me. We've been marching for absolutely ages now, or more specifically they have been marching and I have been stumbling along at the back. You'd think they would have stopped wouldn't you? To let poor little Katie catch her breath, but no! Nasty mean shiney people keep on going.

I feel like that horse from black beauty, Ginger I think, the one who was made to keep going until she dropped dead, which is just peachy; that's right Katie, keep thinking those cheerful thoughts.

I have to do something, considering that they just ignore me all the time, I will take matters into my own hands. Or more specifically, my own feet.

By not moving

Not an inch further.

Not a teensy bit until they let me have a rest.

So um, that's it. I've stopped completely. ...

Waiting for one of them to notice...still waiting...waiting still.

They just keep going. Oh for heavens sake! I have to catch them up now!

What a bloody waste of time that was, I feel shaky enough as it is, without having to use what remains of my energy catching these spaz-monkeys up.

I'll have to run. Good grief there are a lot of branches, I never noticed how many there were, they seem to be like birch or similar, you know the sort, the kind that you don't see until they hit you in right in the face. I'm having to move them aside as I run, which is difficult as I can't see very well in the dark.

Its just a matter of time until one hits m -AAAOOOW!

I really can't go further anymore, I ran so hard into that, it nearly knocked me over, it hit me right in the eye, which is streaming generously, everything is blurred, blood is dripping into it from my eyebrow. If they think I am going to run to catch them up in this state, they are damn right cruel.

Which is good, because they, for once showed a slight bit of mercy. No they haven't examined my eye or anything, they have stopped. Looks like they are making camp. I just stood at the edge, feeling awkward and miserable. But for now, my eye isn't bleeding anymore.

One of them looked at me, not quite as 'forward' as they were before. "Sit" he said simply, pointing to the trunk of a nearby tree, I looked at him what can only be described as drunkenly, because I now feel so shaken, I feel like my legs are on the verge of buckling beneath me.

I let myself flop against the trunk and sat there. I think the fairly large volume of blood that I have lost through my shoulder is what has done this to me. They all sat around their little fire singing songs and eating. Do I think they are going to give me any food? No.

I can only see stuff now and then, everything swimming, feel sick. The caped shiney people look at me every so often. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep .Not good. Oh, all looking at me now, saying stuff One standing up, three standing up, coming over. I felt myself hit the ground as I fall to my side with a soft thud.

Feels like I haven't stopped falling, like I am falling into an endless nothing, I hear them talking to each other, muttering something I don't understand. Last thing I ever felt was someone shaking me gently by the shoulders, they were miles away now, I was not there.

To be continued.

Not sure if I should include this or not, but here goes. it's the converstation that the Elves had concerning Katie. I think it would have been supremely difficult to put that all into Sindarin anyway.

"Dairon, look."

"What is it?"

"The mortal, she does not look very steady"

"Oh yes, I agree"

"It seems she is falling asleep at least."

"Tunath, I do not think she is falling alseep ."

**Hope you liked this chapter, please tell me if you did or didn't by pushing that button, thanks for reading.**

**Mori**

**x**


	4. Found A Language They Understand

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All Tolkien's.

So this is what death feels like, a big, black, void. I can't see, hear, smell or feel anything, a little cold maybe, which I suppose is normal, but that's it.

_drip_

What was that?

_drip_

Oh great, my death has bad plumbing, that's just not fair!

_drip_

Wait a minute, _death has bad plumbing?_ That can't be right, how can my void have plumbing issues? Why would eternal peace have pipes, even leaky ones? If this isn't the eternal void, then where am I?

I've decided, either there has been a mistake and I have been sent to some sort of hell-for-plumbers, or I have regained my hearing which means, can I dare to say it? Am I still alive?

_drip_

Oh shut up!

Lets have a look around then shall I? Hmm, cold floor I think, the would-be dark void has been demoted to just plain darkness. As for the deafness, I guess it is just that its really quiet here. Humph, its not much of an improvement on the void, to be honest.

It really is cold though, I'm freezing, my shoulder doesn't hurt as much as it used to which is a bonus, "He-o" that's my feeble attempt to say "Hello?"just so you know, it seems that my throat is too dry to pronounce even the simplest of words.

Damn

I'm so hungry I could eat my own hands, I swear I will if I don't get some food pretty quick.

So I guess the best thing to do is to sit and wait.

So that's what I'll do then, I'll wait.

_drip_

Hmmm.

_drip_

Waiting...

_drip_

I'm still waiting...

_drip_

Oh this is more than I can stand, I know I have the concentration span of a goldfish, but this is way past the limits of human indurance.

I know! I have an idea, I'm going to make as much noise as I can, that way, someone is sure to come, maybe even with food? Surely they will bring food now?

Food, food food.

Oooh, can't wait!

So, back to the noise making, what can I bang together? My hands? Er, what else is there?

Yes! Woo hoo! A rock, a large rock, it must have come off this here wall, ah well my gain I suppose.

_clink_

_drip_

I've _got _to do something about that leak.

_Chink, chink, chink, chink, chink, CHINK, CHINK, CHINK, CHINK!_

There are voices approaching, well, I hope I am not imaging it. No, they are. And they are getting closer, Best not stop now!

_CHINK, CHINK, CHINK, CHINK!_

They _are _getting closer!

_CHINK, CHINK_

I think they have stopped outside the door since they sounded really close last time I heard them, wherever that is.

I can hear mutterings, I can't understand them though, it's a weird sort of, made up language. Its really strange, the words seem to flow together, like they are well, fluid.

I can hear a clinking sound, just to hurry them along a bit I'll continue to bash my rock against their wall, just so they will get my point.

_CLINK, CLINK, CLINK_

There is a great rusty grating sound and I can at last, see my first bit of light for as long as I have been here. Instinctively I shield my eyes from the glare, finally I can squint up at them, in return they squint back, yes, very funny sense of humour.

This people, there are two of them, just stare, for all their pretty words, it seems they have no manners.

So, if they want to be so rude, I can return the favour. I sit there, fold my arms across my chest and give them the most evil glare I can muster.

Suddenly, they burst out laughing! They just stand there and laugh their silly heads off!

Humph, not very nice. I don't appreciate these weird people laughing at me. Eventually, their oh so funny chuckles die down., and one of them points a long finger at me, then beckons (I think) for me to come over.

Well, I wasn't very happy to say the least, so I threw my rock on the floor, venting at least some of my anger on it, I would have gained great satisfaction from the loud noise it made as it hit the floor, except that I then realised I had a terrible headache. Yeah, great timing Katie.

So, whilst they sniggered at my forehead rubbing, I managed (with great effort) to pull myself up.

One of them stepped aside for me to go past, then the other neatly stepped ahead of me, with the other stood behind, I figured I was going to be escorted somewhere. Beats chilling in that dungeon I suppose.

**Thanks for reading,**

**I'm not going to be a nag and ask you R&R, I am hoping you will do that anyway.**

**Mori**

**x**


	5. Notes To Selves, Very Important

Revised Version - actually all the chapters are revised now, why do I keep putting this stupid notice up?

Chapter 5

Disclaimer : This isn't mine, its Tolkien's, woo, that's a lot of fanfics he owns. If fanfics were £1 coins, I bet he could buy a large county. I bet he could buy the Queen, bless her.

I figured right. I've been walking for ages, And another thing, the amount of stairs that are in this place, its massive, they must really like stairs, judging by the number of them that they have built, and that I regrettibly, have had to climb. Its still one behind and one in front, don't know why, but I feel like a naughty kid.

Seems that we must be going right into the inner chambers, this is because the father we walk, the more Elves are present in the corridors. I don't like this, I've got a bad feeling about it, they seem to almost secrete suspicion. What? Its not like I am walking round carrying a big blood dripping knife is it? I don't exactly look dangerous! Or, at least I don't think I do.

But you never know with other cultures, maybe to them denim is highly offensive.

I really don't know where we are going, and I can't image what's going to happen next. There is a largish hall ahead, with some big oaken doors at the end, yep, that looks like our destination, unless we are going to do a sharp U-turn.

Ooh, we are at the fancy looking doors finally, both of my escort (I have to say it, they can escort me _any day_) took a handle each pulled open the doors, now instead of walking behind and in front of me, both Elves marched me through the doors and forward, to the centre of the hall. Sat on a very grand looking throne was what I could only have guessed was the king. Its sort of obvious as my two escorters have just bowed to him and now gone and stood by the door. I feel very stupid, just stood here awkwardly while everyone, well everyone to the total of the three people in this massive cave type room look at me.

"Who are you?"

"Katie" I responded, trying my best not to sound sarcastic.

"Katie? You are called only Katie?" Mr King said, he sounded as though he thought that unusual.

"Well, no. My full name is Katie Rhiannon Clare Aldis, but I _never _get called _that._

"What is your age, child?" His Kingliness asked me.

"Child!" I said, frowning.

"Yes. You are a child are you not?" Though that didn't really sound like a question to me.

"I'm not a child, I'm 17!"

"So you are a child, you are also acting like one." Stupid smug king.

"My Elves informed me that you were found in one of my trees, and that you refused to come down when ordered too. Is this correct?"

"Yes" what does he expect me to say? No, I was dancing around naked in circles?

"Explain yourself!" Hmm, total lack of perfectly acceptable reason for being in one of his trees seems to have angered king. Bad as he doesn't seem to be the kind you mess about. Note to self - think before opening mouth in future.

"Something small and smelly shot me, what would _you _do? Go running after it shouting '_you forgot your arrow'_?" Oh crap. Note to self - _try to remember previous notes to selves. _Big big VERY big mistake. Stupid mouth running away with me.Why when it really matters does that happen? I think I'm going to pay for this one. Oh nuts...

King looks to furious to speak, I can hear the Elves at the door muttering to each other in disbelief. The king is an unnatural shade of red. Defiantly not a good sign.

"SILENCE! You two! Take her away! I will not be spoken to like that by a _child! And In my OWN HALLS!"_

The Elves are running forward, "_You" _He said, pointing a finger at me, square between the eyes, "You will learn what _respect _is!"

That was it, the Elves both took an elbow and pulled me away. To be honest, I'm quite glad. I don't like being shouted at. I'm also quite pleased with myself, in a twsited sort of way. Normally in that sort of situation I would have burst into tears, and would have started hiccupping "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again like a broken record. Which would have embarrassed everyone involved, or more specifically me.

I think we have created a safe distance between us and the king, which is what they seem to be thinking too, that might be the reason why they've both let go of my elbows and why they are chatting to each other as we walk. I can't understand what they are talking about, but considering what had just gone on, I've got a feeling what the main subject is, (also the fact that I kept catching them looking at me as they talk is a big clue).

I think I will just shut up for now, every time I open my mouth I seem to get into trouble.

This area looks a lot less nice than where we have come from, so I'm guessing that we are near the dungeons.

Yes, I'm right, I can see lots of rows of rusty looking metal doors ahead of me. Not that it matters really, but I wonder which one is mine, and another thing, how long was I in there for?

I'll ask them, I'm sure one of these two will know. Ok here goes!

Oh, too late, we are here, wherever here is. One of them produced a key, unlocked the door and held it open for me to go through. That's nice, or maybe that's typical dungeon warden behaviour. Well, if he is going to be polite, I can do polite too. I am polite, usually.

"Thank you" I said adding an extra lovely smile as I walked in.

Hahaha, that got the effect I wanted! Both dungeon keepers looked mildly surprised. But that was it.

One of them looked at me as if he was going to say something, but he just closed the door, shaking his head as he did so.

**A/N : I wanted to put more in this chapter, but it didn't quite work out. This one turned out to be longer than I thought it would be. Next chapter will be much more interesting. What a painful lesson Katie learned today. Well it was bound to happen sooner or later.**

**Moriarwen**

**x**

**p.s the review button ;)**


	6. I feel swimmy, oh so swimmy!

Chapter 6 - Swimmy.

The dungeon isn't so bad, after you get rid of the musky smell, the coldness, the leaky ceiling, the rats and the odd spider that happens to weave itself along...

Just a few womanly touches here and there, some lighting would be nice, maybe a candle. Complete and utter blackness can feel a little oppresive after a while.

Wonder if I can pursuade those Elves to let me have a candle? Its highly unlikely considering that they laugh at everything I do.

I need a plan of action, a method of getting stuff from them, I still haven't eaten, my headache is worse; all I really want is a drink of water.

What can I do though? That stroppy King said that I was going to learn the meaning of 'respect'. Whats that supposed to mean? Is he going to starve me to death? I wouldn't have thought so, he may need some anger management but surely he wouldn't do that.

I think I need a lie down, upon walking around the room, regardless of the pitch black(if you can call it that) I have discovered that there is infact some straw in the corner, thats nice. Treat me like some sort of horse, whats next? Am I to be made to carry someone around on my back with a bit in my mouth? Euurg, bad mental imagry...

I'm just going to sleep here until I have any better ideas, with any luck this headache might go away.

Theres light.

Lots of it, its so bright that it hurts, this reminds me of how I got here.

I can't look at it, I 've just realised that its not that bright at all, its just the headache has got worse. I can't look at the doorway, it hurts too much, I'll just turn away..

"Come, on your feet." An elven voice said not unkindly from somewhere off in the distace, or from prehaps just the doorway.

I'll be damned if I need help to get up, they half looked as if they wanted to help, hesitant also like they were not sure if it would be a good idea. It doesn't matter, I am a big girl, I can do it.

Okay, I should correct myself there, I am a big girl, I can _only_ _just_ do it, I guess it doesn't help when your vision is 'blurry'.

They walked much more slower than last time, proberly bothered that I will keel over and die in front of them. Or maybe its just me.

I know where we are going, its the same way we went last time, there are no other Elves around this visit. I can see the great big doors ahead of me now, though I can hardly see them clearly.

In we go again, yes there he is, sat in his throne, Lording it up over everyone else. There is someone else there too today, stood next to the king. They are talking, or more like the king and him are whispering, who cares anyway?

My escort have left me again, so I am stood, teetering slightly I must admit, on my own.

"Katie Aldis"

Thats me isn't it? Did someone just say my name? Oh its Kingleton again. I can only just manage to look up at him with one eye, and even with that one my vision is rather vague.

"Katie Aldis, are you listening" The King asked, it sounded like a question, so I'll just say:

"Yes?"

"Have you learnt your lesson? Are you going to apologise" He said, with a firmness in his voice.

The last spoken words were just a jumble of sound.

"What?" was my faint response, I know what is going to happen...

"Have you learnt nothing?" He was getting angry again. If only I could focus enough to see the red colour in his face.

"What?" I couldn't tell what he was saying anyway, the headache drowned out everything else.

He is shouting again, judging by the large volume of noise coming from that general direction.

The other one has spoken up, or it might have been a guard, either way, the shouting has stopped, I am only vaguely aware of this fact.

Ooh, theres a face right in front of my own! When did that happen? I can't really tell if its one of the guards, doesn't look like it, I don't care, can't focus even on someone right infront of me. I know whats going to happen now anyway...

That horribly swimmy sensation that comes right before you pass out...

**Moriarwen**

**x**

**R&R PURWEESE**


	7. How Hard Is It To Get A Drink Around Her...

Chapter 7-Thirsty

I've had it up to here with this dream! Well, I don't really think that it is a dream but lets just say it is for the sake of my sanity.

Last thing I remember was falling backwards (presumably from passing out) but not hitting the floor, I'm no expert into the scientific domain of physics, but isn't there something missing here?

That's how I think I got 'here'.

Here, is not there, where there is that big hall type thing, nor is here the dungeon, for which I'm pretty pleased about.

Here just happens to be a large room, with beds in. Beds are good, especially after spending so much time rolling around in hay. Beds are soft and beds don't give you prickles.

Theres no _dripping _water in here either, there is something in a glass though, upon looking around the room I can see a sort of elfin nightstand, lets have a little sniff at this glass, to make sure that its not got anything toxic in it, I wouldn't put it past those elves to try to drug me.

I'll just sniff it again…. Ok seems good.

Maybe a little sip? Just a little one?

Doesn't taste of anything, maybe I'll just have a little more.

"Thirsty?"

What the! Great, nearly scare me to death when I'm taking a slurp of water, making we nearly choke on it.

"I'll take that as a yes"

Geeez, who is this buster? Thinking he can sneak up on my little self when I am indisposed? I know, I will banter back and put him in his place.

"Take it how ever way you want"

Ha, he looks surprised, I'm going to teach him a lesson he will never forget, no matter how good looking he is, he wont get me to be all demure.

"Your name is 'Kaye-tee?" The strange new person stated over pronuciating the name.

Well here goes nothing.

"And you are?" Hang on… there we go. One eye brow raised at him, perfect!

Wow, he doesn't know what hit him, he recovers quite well from verbal onslaught, especially for a male.

"My name, oh strange one is Legolas."

"Who are you calling strange?"

"You."

"I'm not strange!"

"You're not normal."

"Neither are you"

"What makes you say that?"

"You're wearing weird clothes, you're ears are pointy."

What are you going to say to that one _Legolas_?

"Correct me if I'm wrong, oh young mortal, but there seems to be many of us, and one of you. Does that not qualify us to be the norm, and you to be, how did you put it? Weird?"

Damn him, he's clever too.

"Urm…."

"Unless 'urm' is a strange new word in the language of westron I am going to interpret that last noise you uttered to be a substitute for the words that you are struggling to find." He added before flashing a devilishly cheeky grin.

There was I thinking I would beat him he, who just appeared out of no-where has just made me look silly.

"Bet you think you are funny don't you."

I feel a sulk coming on.

"Think I am? Now, now, don't sulk young one."

"Not sulking"

"Yes you are, you are being argumentative also."

"No I'm not!"

Wait a minute, I can tell by the raised eyebrows that he has just proved his point.

"Are you still going to sulk?"

"No."

He is funny too, despite the obvious fact that he is mocking me.

"How do you know my name?" That's been nagging at me since he called me Kayetee.

"Do you not remember?" Legolas prompted.

"Remember what?"

"In my father's hall, I was stood by him."  
"That was you? Was it you who stood right in front of me?

"Yes, I was trying to get you to focus, you were very pale and didn't seem to notice us."

"All I remember was a lot of shouting".

"Ah , that was my father, he does that sometimes. He thought you were ignoring him."

"I wasn't, honestly my head just really hurt and I couldn't tell what he was saying, or at least shouting at me."

"I realised that, it was a big hint when your eyes kept trying to roll into the back of your head, you were about to faint, I pointed that out to my esteemed sire and he stopped shouting."

"I did faint though. I remember that much. I don't remember hitting the floor though."

"Well of course you wouldn't, we caught you."

"We?"

"One of the guardsmen , Ariath and myself. It was obvious that you were going to faint so we had plenty of time to catch you before you hit the floor."

"Well, that was er… nice of you."

What else can I say? Hope your hands didn't wander! That would be a little rude.

"Pleasure to be of service!"

Hmm, he is either being extremely polite or very sarcastic, more the latter I think, especially since he has just dropped into low sweeping bow.

"It pleases me to see that you are better, oh one who has interesting manners."

I've decided to play along.

"And why is that O Prince?"

"Two reasons, Reason one: my father 'requests' to speak with you again ."

"You mean shout at me?

"I wont make any promises."

Dang, there goes that cheeky grin again! He always manages to do it at the right moments, like he has had centuries of practice. Grr, its irritation to the extreme because you can't stay mad at him and he knows it!

He just charms you too much.

"And reason number two?"

"You want the second reason? "

**A/N:** Its not what you think, actually it could be interpreted as the opposite, but then it wouldn't be what you think it is either. Just wait.

Alatril Carnesr: Well your waiting is over! But now you have to wait again, sorry!

Cooliliyflower: Did you like it or didn't you? Hope you did. Hope you like this one too.


	8. Legolas Is Bored

Hey everyone, I'm back, sorry it's a bit late. I can make up for it with more updates as I'm on half term, woo!

Disclaimer: Tolkien's blah blah blah.

**Chapter 8**

"You want the second reason?"

"Yeeees I did ask didn't I!"

Goodness me, hasn't he got anything between those pointy ears of his? If I have to ask again I'm going to get angry, and an angry Katie happens to be a dangerous, slightly scary Katie, who has teeth.

"I'm bored."

"You're _bored!"_

"_Yes, and I thought a conversation with you might prove to be entertaining."_

So, that's his reason? He thought he would come and have a good chuckle at me? Well, I'm not going to give him that pleasure, stupid stuck up pompous Elf! Not even his debonair grin is going to win me over this time.

"Huh, If you think I'm going to take part in a conversation solely for the purpose of making you laugh at my expense then you can think again!"

That's stumped him, he wasn't expecting me to snap at him. Its not like its worked though, I think he is trying to look like he is sorry, but I can that its faked cause his eyes are all creased up like its taking all of his self control to stop himself from bursting out giggling.

Damn him.

I wish he would stop looking at me like that, its really starting to annoy me.

I'll raise my eyebrows to get my point across.

"Is something the matter mortal? You look like you are in pain, should I fetch a healer"

I would have taken him serious if it wasn't for the sarcasm oozing out of his voice.

"Healer? You'll be the one needing a healer in a minute if you don't go away."

"If I didn't know better I would say you are threatening me."

"Well maybe you don't know better."

What's this? He has actually _sat_ on the bed, he isn't smiling either, oh dear, I smell trouble.

"You would be ill-advised, oh uninvited guest, to start threatening members of royalty if you wish to remain here."

What should I do now… should I apologize? Do I want to go back to the hobgoblin with dodgy boomerang invested woods and get shot again?

He's joking.

Very Funny.

Legolas, the great and wonderful joker of where ever we are is leaning forward. What's he up to this time?

The darn blasted male is whispering something; in my ear of all places.

"Its not as though you have a choice."

Ohh! If he could see the look on my face, no wait, he just has.

Yeah! Keep laughing _Legolas!_ Just you wait..

"I will go tell my father of your rousing. I am sure he will be summoning you soon enough."

With another cheesy over-the-top bow he left, leaving me alone in this large cavernous room.

**A/N: Well, that's it for this chapter, going to start working on the next one right now. Who liked Prince Leggy's appreance? Was it satisfactory? I reckon Katie might fancy him, I'f I were Legolas I would run. Lol, being the old charmer that he is I'm sure he could charm the pants off a squirrel.**

Review Responses:

Coollilyflower: Woo! Yay! You make me so happy with the liking of the fic and everything -gives big hug-

Alatril Carnesr: Yep, Lego showed up, and he is going to be here for a while yet… Hope you liked the Lego action in this fic. : )

Toodles for now!

Moriarwen

x


	9. He Can Be Mean Too

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Tolkien yes, Emily no.

That's nice, leaving me here alone, or should I say alone _again _since I seem to have been spending a lot of time alone lately.

Since I'm here, I might as well have a look around.. What have we here then? Well, I can't see much from this bed. So I guess I might as well get up.

Hey wait a minute, these aren't the clothes I came in with! This is a dress! I _don't do dresses!_ mini skirts, yes. Knee length skirts, within reason, but long - to the ankle woven frocks I DON'T THINK SO!

Wait a minute, who put me in this? _Who took my clothes off!_ When I find out, I am going to chase them with a big stick, preferably one with a pointy nail in…

This dress is horribly boring, its long and its grey. Its not very flattering either, It looks like one hell of a nightie. It could really do with something like the sort of bow strings you used to get on those dresses your sadistic parents put you in as little girls (or God forbid, little boys). Oh wait, it has them, they just weren't done up. This'll do.

Ah, that's better it is at least slightly fitting and I don't look like a man in a nightshirt anymore.

Nothing on my feet though. Brrr this stone floor is cold.

Goodness knows how long his blond royal highness is going to be, or how long it takes HRH Anger Management before he starts going beetroot?

What shall I do for whats proberly going to be something like a week?

Investigating this room seems to be in my top ten right at this current moment in time.

So what have we got here?

Large cavernous room…

Symmetrical rows of beds…

Interesting choice of lighting…

Seems like a standard underground cave hospital wing to me. Having of course seen many underground cave hospitals.

Its sort of gloomy, even though its lit by torches, bit of a fire hazard if you ask me.

Its quite long too. Hang on, theres something at the end…

What is that? Its too far away to see it properly, lets just go a little nearer. Hehe, the dress makes a swishy noise as I walk. I can see it better, its small, rectangular and it seems to be flickering. Its bigger than I thought, though still very small, but why the flickering? Oh I get it, its got a torch on either side, I think it's a door?

Of course! You have to get in here somehow, unless they just materialise in here, but I don't think even that's impossible for these weird people. Since there is nothing else to do around here, whats to stop me from finding out whats on the other side?

That's the best idea I have had all day.

Wow, it does make a funny noise, I could swish around all day, Goodness grief how long is this room? I have been walking for almost 5 minutes and I'm only just nearing the door. I can just reach out and touch it, will it be locked?

What will happen if I go through it? Will there be Elves there? Would they be armed and if so would they shoot me?

Should I even go through the door at all?

Its just in front of me, the polished surface is reflecting the torchlight, I've got my hand pressed against it and its so tempting, I don't feel as alone as I did a moment ago, but there can't be anyone else in here, I would have heard them on the stone floor.

"Stop! It would not be in your best interests to go though that door"

A familiar voice warned. A hand just reached over my shoulder and took mine off from the door using it to turn me around, bringing me almost into the face of who just stopped me going through that door.

Turns out that it was Legolas.

I don't like this, he looks almost angry, I'm right in his face as he hasn't released the tight grip he has on my hand.

"Let go of me."

"The king will see you now".

His grip really does hurt and the way he is looking at me is frightening.

I think he can see that he is scaring me, because he has just let go.

Well I don't intend on staying that close to him, no matter how good looking he is.

I'm backing off, theres only a few feet between us and the door, arrrrrrrrrg! Dress! I've stood on the back hem!

Ooof!

Right into the door!

That really hurt! My head I mean.

"Fxxx!"

"Katie?"

Legolas sounds unsure, possibly guilty too though I am not sure if its my imagination though.

Oh, so he is offering his hand out now is he? Well he can bugger off! I'll get myself up thanks.

Giving both Legolas and his two guard friends evil glares I stood up and smoothed out my skirt.

A/N: I made that a little longer as a sort of later chapter apology. Hope you like?

Review Responses:

Lady of the dual swords: You love? You love that much? Cool, reviews like yours make me happy I didn't just stop though, J I had stuff going on. You don't have to grovel on your knees helps up.

THECheeseTurkey: Yeah, they are shiny and they are mean. But they got weapons so you have to be nice to them.

Alaria Artanis: Where you been? I missed you! L Glad you like it? When you gonna post more in Light and Dark and Elanor! I bet he could get a dead vole to propose to him if he tried hard enough. Oh and I see what you mean about the title, I will change that now, J.

You gonna come back now?

Alatril Carnesr: Glad you like the interaction. Katie really is an OOC, or at least I hope she is, thanks for reviewing! Sorry 'bout the late update, hope the chappie length makes up for it though!

Orli's-no.1-girl: Thankies very much! I aim to please. ;) I love your review and I hope that you stay as a reader of my story. It didn't sound cheesy but this is a story patially about cheese so a little cheese is accepted! Lol.

Arami: Its not, if you click on the address bar you will see the number, which is the chapter number, delete that and type in the chapter that you are after and it should load it. It happens sometimes. I think its to do with the server updating Hope it works for you.

Coollilyflower: You like the hug? gives second hug hehe. Yay! You love my story!

Bye for now!

Moriarwen

x


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